Winter is coming. You heard it here first. The sky is blue and black, mulled wine is coming back and that neighbour you can’t stand has his house all decked out with lights and a minature Santa flashing on the roof. It’s also when the feelings of dread and loneliness hits those suseptible to the “winter blues”. Maybe sitting on your coach tussled up in your warmest blankets listening to Frank Ocean on repeat isn’t enough and you’re craving a companion to help you make it through the winter. Yes, “I miss you”season has hit and it’s time for another year where you’re targeted by the Lonely.
Bootycalls are coming so hard you can’t keep up with all the “Yo you up? I need a cuddle -insert unblinking eyes emoji-” and it’s giving you a headache having to free your phone storage. It’s hard to fathom that a little cold weather instantly turns men into horny teenagers but it’s happening. Suddenly a season is being used as an excuse to fornicate with every Tom, Dick and Harry on Tinder.
Let’s not forget the men who use winter as an excuse to target the emotionally vulnerable. That ex you keep trying to shake off? Suddenly he’s suggesting Winter Wonderland dates where you can wonder around bustling markets holding his hand while you attempt to take cutesy couple pictures. Seems innocent enough. How about that friend who has been attempting to escape the ‘friend-zone’ for months but you’ve been escaping his clutches every time? Ice Skating Between Friends starts off sinlessly but he’s grabbing you everytime you nearly fall, trying to take your hand at every occasion and that mistletoe you both walked past looks very conveniently placed.
Friends this is the time to remain painfully aware. Emotions will be driving you crazy. Especially seeing photos of perfect couples on Instagram documenting a perfect Winter of Love where everything is perfect and you have no reason to feel lonely or alone. But we must fight these feelings and curve the preying men on sight. Winter will pass and you will still be lonely and single and that’s okay. There’s always Spring.
So as International Women’s Day was yesterday I thought I’d write a little something…
Women. As a gender, we have been subjected to intolerable suffering and unfairness for decades. It’s hard to believe that only in 1928 did the government give women the right to vote. At what cost though? The Suffragettes were an organisation of activists that aimed to change society for the better by fighting for equality. A group of hard hitting feminists standing up for what they believe in no matter what the cost. Emmeline Pankhurst, a well-known suffragette, subjected herself to hunger strike and was arrested on numerous occasions. Emily Davidson sacrificed her life and was killed by the King’s horses in Derby all because she was appealing to the King for a right that she was entitled to have. Thousands of Suffragettes were imprisoned for fighting the unlawful patriarchal society. These women all sacrificed something for the greater good and given women the same political rights as men.
So far so good right? Well no. Just because women now have political rights doesn’t mean we should stop there. What about women’s social rights? They are constantly belittled by men and objectified by the media. Nuts, Loaded, etc. need I go on? Social norms are constantly rearing their ugly heads too. When a male sleeps around, they are deemed ‘players’ and congratulated. Yet when a woman partakes in sexual behaviour, she is labelled a ‘slag’. Children are socialised from an early age about the roles males and females must have. Women must be the head nurturers and do all the housework. There isn’t much deviation from this, especially in traditional families. Socially, women are criticised, condemned and made to feel like they can’t do as much as men – or even more- without being scrutinised and constantly judged. The problem lies in agencies of socialisation such as family and education where children are first introduced to social norms and expectations. The media is also a key factor that structures our thinking.
Many are under the illusion being a feminist means being a ‘man basher’ and allowing women to get away with everything. As a keen feminist I would dismiss that idea immediately. Feminism is essentially about men and women being equal. The only way we can build an equal society is by not judging or labelling people – whether a man or woman – and introducing open minded thinking where people can do as they please, whether that differs from gender expectations or not.
Girls, this means asserting your rights and putting your foot down. Yes I mean that literally, stiletto heels are ideal for hurting that lout next time he tells you to “get back into the kitchen”.