“I miss you” season is nigh

Winter is coming. You heard it here first. The sky is blue and black, mulled wine is coming back and that neighbour you can’t stand has his house all decked out with lights and a minature Santa flashing on the roof. It’s also when the feelings of dread and loneliness hits those suseptible to the “winter blues”. Maybe sitting on your coach tussled up in your warmest blankets listening to Frank Ocean on repeat isn’t enough and you’re craving a companion to help you make it through the winter. Yes, “I miss you”season has hit and it’s time for another year where you’re targeted by the Lonely.

Bootycalls are coming so hard you can’t keep up with all the “Yo you up? I need a cuddle -insert unblinking eyes emoji-” and it’s giving you a headache having to free your phone storage. It’s hard to fathom that a little cold weather instantly turns men into horny teenagers but it’s happening. Suddenly a season is being used as an excuse to fornicate with every Tom, Dick and Harry on Tinder.

Let’s not forget the men who use winter as an excuse to target the emotionally vulnerable. That ex you keep trying to shake off? Suddenly he’s suggesting Winter Wonderland dates where you can wonder around bustling markets holding his hand while you attempt to take cutesy couple pictures. Seems innocent enough. How about that friend who has been attempting to escape the ‘friend-zone’ for months but you’ve been escaping his clutches every time? Ice Skating Between Friends starts off sinlessly but he’s grabbing you everytime you nearly fall, trying to take your hand at every occasion and that mistletoe you both walked past looks very conveniently placed.

Friends this is the time to remain painfully aware. Emotions will be driving you crazy. Especially seeing photos of perfect couples on Instagram documenting a perfect Winter of Love where everything is perfect and you have no reason to feel lonely or alone. But we must fight these feelings and curve the preying men on sight. Winter will pass and you will still be lonely and single and that’s okay. There’s always Spring.

Perks guide to freshers: Do’s and Don’ts!

Perks guide to freshers: Do’s and Don’ts!

Okay, so some of of you may start university this September/October and may need some handy hints and tips. I am aware said post may be pretty late for some, most  but look okay I’ve been busy…I’m still writing about this past year in my drafts okay, cut me some slack…

So…drum roll please!! Here’s my guide to Freshers: the ultimate two weeks of beer chugging, excessive spending and general madness before you immerse yourself in lectures and reading lists.

  1. The first thing you do after you pack? Go and meet your flatmates obviously! You really don’t want to be known as the Awkward Annie that just cowered in their room the whole time…go say HI. GO. *gives you a little push*
  2. Keep a door wedge. It’ll prove handy.
  3. Don’t shit where you eat
  4. Don’t buy expensive kitchenware and cutlery. Shit will go missing. Trust me.
  5. First impressions do count but at the end of the year they will have completely overturned. My first impressions of everyone I met this year have nearly all changed
  6. A student loan and overdraft is not a handout from the Gods. You will need to pay it back. The debt will increase and increase and soon you’ll be living on Toast for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. And you won’t even have enough for butter.
  7. Don’t shit where you eat
  8. It’s normal to want to go all out and spend every day partying and in a drunken stupor so hard that you’ll be a burbling mess half the night but learn to take it easy too. Freshers flu is a thing. Look after yourself.
  9. If you don’t drink then don’t despair. There will be stuff going on for non drinkers: take advantage of them!
  10. It’s a good idea to get the academic stuff sorted out too by checking reading lists, making sure you’ve enrolled on your modules etc
  11. Don’t shit where you eat – no seriously, sleeping with a flatmate is the worst idea ever. Unless you want it to be awkward for the remainder of the year.
  12. Get involved in as much as you can!! Before you get overwhelmed with work!!
  13. Enjoy ya’self hunnies 🙂