Perks of Being A Procrastinator
Keep calm and read the inner workings of a cynical genius
I’m chasing the sun
Down the bottom of a vodka bottle
It tastes of sweetness, light and euphoria
But it fades as fast as the sunset that reminds me of you
So I turn to the tobacco goodness that sends me into a pseudo heaven
I want to feel love i want to feel hope i want to dream
But chemical aphrodisiacs can only do so much
As i fall into the depths of a hell
This is Jameela Jamil. She is currently slaying everything and I’m all for it. You might recognise her from hit show The Good Place in which she plays perfectionist and socialite Tahani Al-Jamil. Yes she is fabulous and the show wouldn’t be the same without her but I’m here to talk about her influence and drive and conscientious efforts as a life positivity and body empowerment activist.
In 2018, Jameela launched Instagram account ‘I Weigh’ encouraging people to post a picture of themselves along side a list of things they were grateful or proud of that made them who they are. This was in response to an Instagram photo which showed all the Kardashians and compared their weights which Jamil exclaimed “Who gives a fuck what weight you are?”. The ‘I Weigh’ movement is inspirational and a big leap forward from the media’s constant scrutiny of women’s bodies and their pessimistic body shaming attitude. This movement may have originally focused on women but Jamil has encouraged users of any race/gender/sex to submit posts and thus a variety of individuals from different backgrounds are celebrated on the account.
Having suffered from an eating disorder as a teenager, Jamil’s preaching of self-love and acceptance comes from personal experience and a desire to right the wrongs of the media and society. She has criticised the media for creating unrealistic expectations for women, focusing on so-called ‘influencers’ who advertise detox teas and weight loss products which claim to be a magic solution to people who want to lose weight. Jamil called out US rapper Cardi B and stated “they got Cardi B on the laxative nonsense “detox” tea. GOD I hope all these celebrities all shit their pants in public, the way the poor women who buy this nonsense upon their recommendation do”. To further her point Jamil posted a short clip of herselves acting out a celebrity who was endorsing a weight loss product but has to stop when she barely makes it to the bathroom in time. It’s no-nonsense, straight to the point and hilarious. Adding fuel to the fire she voices her disbelief with “I’ve got abs, but I’ve never done a day’s exercise in my life and I haven’t been on a diet. I ate five hamburgers last night”.
Although Jamil has a massive following on ‘I Weigh’ with over 300,000 followers she is no stranger to controversy. She has been labelled ‘privileged’ because of her looks which have been deemed ‘socially acceptable’ and that she is too skinny to be an advocate for body positivity. Jamil put up a powerful Twitter post responding to these criticisms by acknowledging her privilege but explaining that she is using it to do good by paving the way for change and uprising against societal norms of beauty.
There have been many rebuttals against her stance and suggestions that she is not as inclusive as she could be but Jamil has taken these views on board and responded to many of them labelling herself a ‘feminist in progress’ as she continues to work on herself as well as her movement. She is responsive to people who don’t like her, comedy gold and always willing to spread love when she can which is why she takes is officially my reigning WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday)
And if you don’t like her? I don’t give a fork.
It’s that time after New Years where you’re in a state of zen and duvet bliss (after your new gym induction and motivational run of course) and what better idea than to switch on the ol’ Netflix and have a gander at the new shows which are all gripping the world at the moment. That and the memes which have been dominating Twitter.
(Mild Spoilers ahead)
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch
I was eager and waiting when Netflix delivered the latest instalment of Black Mirror. It takes the form of an interactive story complete with choices that lead you to multiple endings. The path the story takes is down to you as you play as the main character, Stefan. Stefan hopes to create his own video game, aptly titled ‘Bandersnatch’. But it seems the game is playing him rather than the other way round…
You should also bear in mind that you have to unlock certain endings to replay different scenes to get alternative endings. The first choice is significant and boils down to what kind of cereal you like. *Sugar Puffs over Frosties till I die*
Some endings are humorous. Some are traumatic. And some are just downright weird. But it all boils down to the same thing. You get to ruin a young man’s life for your own entertainment. Poor Stefan.
You
Think of it as Gossip Girl Gone Wild. The narrative follows Penn Badgeley’s character Joe who starts off as an ordinary guy in a bookstore. Pretentious? Check. Slightly awkward? Check. We hear the story through his inner monologue which is constantly running, telling the classic boy meets girl love story as he meets love interest Guinevere Beck. Tame enough right? Except his observations are a bit too intrusive and thoughts turn into actions and well…he tips over to crazy psycho stalker. I won’t say any more but…eeeks.
Look at that smile!
Aloha! The first week of 2019 has come and gone and I’m excited for a year of new opportunities, dreams and most importantly…travels!
The thing spurring me on most to get those dolla dolla bills is the excitement behind exploring new cities and places. I want to get lost and I want to do it on foreign ground.
2018 was a brilliant year me for in terms of travel as I got to see the beautiful India and get in touch with my roots. Gujarat and Rajesthan are such different places to London and it was good to experience life in an alternative community. I also visited Zadar in Croatia with the family which was a new experience as I had no idea what to expect on that trip as Zadar isn’t as well documented or touristy a location as say, Dubrovnik or Split.
My 2019 travels will depend heavily on my bank balance as at the moment I am unemployed. -insert crying face-
As of now, I have a trip to Copenhagen which I am very excited about. The Danish city boasts great architecture, cycling and lovely Scandinavian culture which I can’t wait to get my teeth into. My recent read The Little Book of Hygge has motivated me to love all things Danish and I am also intrigued to see their way of life up close!
I also have another trip booked in November to see Miami!
Beaches, cocktails and cruising through the streets blasting Will Smith’s Miami…I can’t wait!
I also plan to explore more of London, I live in such an extraordinary city and I think I take it for granted a lot of the time. I need to step out of my comfort zone a bit more and I believe 2019 will be perfect for this
Hello Perkirinos! (I have no idea why I’ve given you guys a fangirl name but hey ho)
How was your Christmas? Was Santa generous? Did you manage to spend a whole evening in the vicinity of your family and manage not to murder anyone? If the answers are amazing and yes then congrats, you’ve managed to have a decent Crimbo. I would have done a lovely festive little blog post on the big day but I was too busy procrastinating and buying last minute presents obvs 🙂
Instead you get this lovely Pre New Years post which is actually on time for once, atta girl!
So….2018…
it’s been a year of transitioning, feelings, change and memes…
I am ready for 2019.
Writing this post is probably the best thing for me right now. Having done an intense three weeks of group therapy (that’s 9-5 everyday, talking about your feelings folks) means I’m more focused on what I need to do, who I need to be and who I need to do it with next year…
Or maybe this is all bullshit from a raging 22 year old with a detrimental sleeping pattern and unhealthy coping mechanisms…but I can only take it with a pinch of salt 😀
I tried making a set of very unrealistic goals in September 2017 and only achieved one (to graduate lol) and that told me that I put way too much pressure on myself and need to take things one step at a tiiiiime…(cue Jordin Sparks acapella)
I’m hoping that 2019 becomes the year of the grind. I have no idea what to do with this blog, I wish I could make it a ‘thing’ but its a crazy mix of personal shit and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with my very own stream-of-consciousness to be made public. Considering making an active travel and lifestyle blog but I have no idea what I’m doing.
If you have any advice on what I can do or even about my current life state then feel free to comment and send memes etc.
I just realised I titled this post “Life lessons” but I didn’t actually offer any lessons. I am a certified dinkus
One thing that really stood out for me this year is the absence of self-love and confidence that leads to my depressive funk and inability to place the blame on things other than myself. I need to figure out how to give myself self-love, believe in myself and stop doubting myself. Not sure how much of a grip I can get on this in 2019 but I’m gonna try!
Winter is coming. You heard it here first. The sky is blue and black, mulled wine is coming back and that neighbour you can’t stand has his house all decked out with lights and a minature Santa flashing on the roof. It’s also when the feelings of dread and loneliness hits those suseptible to the “winter blues”. Maybe sitting on your coach tussled up in your warmest blankets listening to Frank Ocean on repeat isn’t enough and you’re craving a companion to help you make it through the winter. Yes, “I miss you”season has hit and it’s time for another year where you’re targeted by the Lonely.
Bootycalls are coming so hard you can’t keep up with all the “Yo you up? I need a cuddle -insert unblinking eyes emoji-” and it’s giving you a headache having to free your phone storage. It’s hard to fathom that a little cold weather instantly turns men into horny teenagers but it’s happening. Suddenly a season is being used as an excuse to fornicate with every Tom, Dick and Harry on Tinder.
Let’s not forget the men who use winter as an excuse to target the emotionally vulnerable. That ex you keep trying to shake off? Suddenly he’s suggesting Winter Wonderland dates where you can wonder around bustling markets holding his hand while you attempt to take cutesy couple pictures. Seems innocent enough. How about that friend who has been attempting to escape the ‘friend-zone’ for months but you’ve been escaping his clutches every time? Ice Skating Between Friends starts off sinlessly but he’s grabbing you everytime you nearly fall, trying to take your hand at every occasion and that mistletoe you both walked past looks very conveniently placed.
Friends this is the time to remain painfully aware. Emotions will be driving you crazy. Especially seeing photos of perfect couples on Instagram documenting a perfect Winter of Love where everything is perfect and you have no reason to feel lonely or alone. But we must fight these feelings and curve the preying men on sight. Winter will pass and you will still be lonely and single and that’s okay. There’s always Spring.
1. Student debt – more than £30K worth. Can I get a hell yeah?
2. Couple costumes – No we don’t want to see you both dressed up in cutesy little matching Fred and Velma. It maketh me sicketh.
3. The term “slaps”. Like “this song really slaps”. It sounds like something your Dad would say while trying to sound cool.
4. My crippling depression. Yeah 🙂
5. The current USA gun crisis. I am fucking terrified.
6. Adulting. When does it start to feel natural? How do you do know if you’re doing it right? Can you return it without a receipt?
7. My bank account. All those minuses 😉
8. Jamie Oliver. NOTHING IS SACRED ANYMORE
9. My nightmares. Complex, scary shit that would send my dear Freud in a tizzy.
10. The term “Social media influencers”. Sounds a bit like brainwashers beaming hypnotic vibes out to us. You-must-buy-this-weightloss-milkshake
